Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
