i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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