I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize