Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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