Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
