I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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