john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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