she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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