idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
