we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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