is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Iāve gotta be honest, I didnāt expect to have sex. I didnāt shave... anything. You couldnāt have been impressed.
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