some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
