What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
