I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
