erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
