Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
