Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
