Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
