I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
