dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
