): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
