Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
someone threw a dead crab at me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
