rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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