dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize