I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My pussy is not your playground.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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