Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
