you win again, gameday.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
