u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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