I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
