All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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