we're blogging at a bar
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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