"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
