It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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