Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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