Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
