You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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