I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
