Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
