u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
