Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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