i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
