ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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