i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
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i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
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Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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