the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
