That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
