I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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