69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
