yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
