So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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