Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
