As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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