I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
