Non-Jews are for practice
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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