wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
