hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
